This is the third part of my book War on Porn! Prepare Your Mind for Battle , which can be downloaded free . You can read Part 1 here .
THE MANY BENEFITS OF BREAKING THE PORN HABIT
If you’re currently hooked on viewing porn, you’re doing it for a reason. Porn compulsion is not the result of a virus. It’s the result of skewed and distorted thinking patterns.
If you’re currently hooked on viewing porn, you’re doing it for a reason. Porn compulsion is not the result of a virus. It’s the result of skewed and distorted thinking patterns.
If you are to stop viewing porn, you need to make it crystal clear to yourself that porn will never, ever give you what you want . Porn doesn’t have what you are looking for. It’s trying to solve a problem in a way that just makes the problem worse. It’s not relieving your stress; actually, it’s causing you more stress. Think: Does wasting hours every day relieve stress or put you under more stress? Does missing out on necessary sleep cause you stress? Does a guilty conscience relieve stress or compound it? You know this very well. Not to use that knowledge is pure stupidity, plain and simple, and it must stop now. So, think:
· If you were starting your life over again, knowing what you know now, would you make a conscious choice to begin viewing porn?
· Would you consciously decide to be lumbered with a life handicap that will consume hundreds of hours of your time, leaving you with feelings of guilt, shame, fear and embarrassment?
· Would you recommend porn viewing to your kids? Would you encourage them to start looking at porn? Why not? If it’s not good enough for them, why is it good enough for you?
· Does this bizarre habit provide you with anything positive at all? Even if you do manage to think of some ‘benefits’ that superficially appear to be positive, aren’t there much better and less problematic ways of getting those benefits?
· Porn is essentially selfish and immature. Is that the type of person you want to be?
· In your pursuit of porn, are you behaving like a responsible, sensible grown-up, or like a child?
· Is porn viewing a rational choice for any logical, intelligent person? Or is it an insult to your intelligence to continue engaging in this behavior when there is a way out?
· Is porn viewing a logically defensible choice, a sensible, attractive option, or is it a pathetic withdrawal from real life, the retreat of a loser?
· Is spending hours every week on such a pointless activity an intelligent thing to do? Or is it one of the most unbelievably stupid things you could do with your time? Are you an intelligent person or a foolish one? If you’re an intelligent person, why are you behaving like a foolish one?
· Are you living in an alternative reality where porn is good for your health, takes up no time at all, strengthens your self-esteem and your family relationships and is universally appreciated and applauded? Or are you going to see porn for the filthy, disgusting parasite that it is?
· Are you ready to stop lying to yourself about what porn is doing to your life?
· Are you ready to quit downplaying the disadvantages of your porn addiction?
YOU CAN DO IT
Henry Ford is reputed to have said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you are right.” In other words, self-belief is an essential element for success. In Porn Escape , I discuss some of the science that supports this view. If you’re to put maximum effort into creating a porn-free life, you must believe that it is possible for you.
The fact is that the majority of people in the world are managing to live quite adequately without porn. It may sometimes appear that everybody is using porn but actually that’s a lie. There are billions of men and women who are not viewing porn. Not only that, millions of people are totally disgusted by it. Presumably you know that and that’s why you don’t broadcast your porn activities to others. Furthermore, thousands of people who were once porn victims have gotten free from it. So consider:
· Are you really that different from the thousands of people who have overcome a porn habit in the past?
· If you search the internet, you can find the personal testimonies of people who have overcome porn; do you have any real reason to believe that they have some special gift that you haven’t?
· People manage to break addictions to nicotine, alcohol, heroin and crack cocaine — Is there really anything preventing you from breaking your porn habit, or is that just what you tell yourself?
· If you were told that the next time you viewed porn, you’d be shot (and you had reason to believe that threat), would you have any difficulty at all in stopping?
· How will recognizing the truth that many people have already stopped viewing porn set you free?
Can you drive a car? If so, then before your took lessons it was literally impossible for you to drive along the freeway. But it wasn’t impossible for you to learn. Now that you’ve learned a set of skills, what was once quite impossible for you has become rather easy. Easy to the point that you can do it almost automatically. You may have had the experience of arriving home from work and being completely unable to recall any of the journey. You stopped at lights, slowed down on bends, made the correct left and right turns, without consciously thinking about it. All you needed to do is learn a set of skills and practice them. I discuss those skills in Porn Escape . So you need to consider:
· Is it possible that the reason you haven’t discontinued porn use until now is that you simply didn’t know how?
· Are you willing to invest the time needed to learn and practice those skills?
· It’s true that learning new skills takes time. But how much time are you spending on porn viewing?
· Are you willing to invest the energy needed to learn and practice those skills?
· Is it possible that you could actually get really good at the skills needed to live a porn-free life? Might the skills you learn transfer to other areas of your life and make you a master of self-discipline?
· How would you feel if instead of fantasizing about sex, you were to fantasize about being unflaggingly powerful, morally strong, indefatigable, relentless in your pursuit of what is right?
· How proud of yourself were you when you got your driver’s license? Will you be any less proud when you learn to manage your life without resorting to porn?
· How will you be set free by recognizing the truth that you are capable of learning the skills that will enable you to stop viewing pornography?
If you ever find yourself thinking that you can’t overcome your porn problem, remember Russell’s admonition: “ Look into the irrationality closely, with a determination not to respect it, and not to let it dominate you .” The idea that you must remain a porn victim until you die is irrational. Be uncompromising in your determination that you won’t respect it and you won’t let it dominate you. Ideas have only the power that we give them. Be ruthless. Remember: This is WAR!
YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!
You don't have to be hooked on porn! Millions of people live happily without porn. You can be one of them.
Get the follow-up book
In it, you'll learn more than a dozen techniques that can help you get free from your porn compulsion. You will see:
- Why shame and guilt don't work as motivators and what you can do about it.
- What personality traits can help you overcome your porn dependence.
- Why positive thinking can be lethal to your escape from porn.
- How to develop an escape plan to deal with triggers.
- How to execute your escape plan with the confidence and skill of a pro.
- The right and wrong way to promote success through visualization.
- The winning formula for changing your actions.
- Why you should never count days of abstinence.
WHAT IS YOUR PORN ADDICTION COSTING YOU?
- Money?
- Time?
- Relationships?
- Opportunities to develop skills?
- Peace of mind?
- Clean conscience?
No comments:
Post a Comment