War on Porn! - Extract 5

This is the fifth part of my book War on Porn! Prepare Your Mind for Battle , which can be downloaded free . You can read Part 1 here .

 

 

PORN AND YOUR TIME

Have you got an hour or so to spare every day? If so, I suggest you go and stand in a dark broom cupboard doing nothing for the full 60 minutes, every day of your life from now on, until you die. It’s true you won’t be doing anything productive, but at least you won’t be filling your mind with perverted and harmful imagery. Yes, I am being sarcastic, but you get the point. Many porn victims spend at least as long as that on their compulsion. All things considered, spending an hour a day watching porn is much worse than spending it standing in the broom cupboard. At least standing in the broom cupboard won’t do you any harm. You won’t lose your job for it.  Your wife (probably) won’t divorce you for it.  You won’t go to jail for it.  So consider:

•        How much time have you spent on porn over the last month? (Hint: Check your browsing history, if you haven’t deleted it.)

•        Is part of the frustration you feel after viewing porn due to knowing how much time you’ve squandered on it unnecessarily?

•        How would you like to have the option to spend your time on something else?

•        If you were to use some of that time getting more sleep, would your health improve?

•        If you were to use some of that time getting more exercise, would your health improve?

•        If you were to spend some of that time staying in touch with friends and making new friends, would your social life improve?

•        If you were to spend that time with your spouse, would your marriage improve?

•        If you were to spend that time with your kids, would your family life improve?

•        What positive effects could you enjoy from the above changes?

•        How would it make you feel?

•        Are you realizing your full potential, or are your abilities going to waste?

•        How much more could you achieve with your life if you paid the price and put in the necessary work to become free of porn?

•        How will you be set free by acknowledging the truth that breaking your porn habit will have a quantum positive effect on your free time and your life?

PORN AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

Maybe no one else knows about your porn habit. But you know. Why does no one else know? After all, they know you watch TV. You probably tell them about which movies you’ve been to see at the cinema, or which restaurants you’ve been to. So why don’t you tell them about your porn viewing? The answer is because you believe, correctly, that they would lose respect for you if they knew you were a porn victim. Now, think about this: You know you look at porn. Consequently, you lose respect for yourself. Porn is a major self-esteem killer. The following questions will help you to consider how you have been affected.

•        Have you been choosing the instant gratification of sexual release over the experience of abundant well-being, self-respect and genuine satisfaction?

•        What does it feel like to have to hide some of your daily activities from people you love?

•        You are concerned about what other people think. Shouldn’t you be equally concerned about what you think of yourself?

•        What effect does it have on your self-esteem to know you’ve been exploiting other people’s bodies for your own sexual gratification? How do you feel, knowing you’ve treated fellow human beings as essentially worthless objects?

•        Alternatively, what effect does it have on your self-esteem to know you’re spending hours every day hanging out with some of the most depraved, corrupt people in society? Are they the sort of people you want as your friends? Would you be proud to introduce them to your real friends and family? Or would you be thoroughly ashamed?

•        What effect does it have on your self-esteem to know you’ve poured large quantities of your time down the drain?

•        Are you enjoying the embarrassment of spending your hard-earned money on access to pornographic materials rather than using it for something constructive for yourself or your loved ones?

•        How would it feel to be back in charge of your own life again?

•        How would it feel to have a temptation and to say no to it, to experience being in control?

•        How would it feel not to have to hide anything you are or anything you do from anyone else?

•        How would it feel to look back at the end of a day, a week, a month or a year and to think that you’ve used it wisely, rather than squandering it on pointless endeavors?

•        How would it feel not to be worried about your spouse discovering your porn habit? Wouldn’t it be a tremendous relief?

•        How would it feel not to be worried about how your spouse would react?

•        How would it feel to be certain you’re not going to do something that would hurt your spouse’s feelings deeply?

•        How much do you love your spouse?

•        How much closer do you think you would feel to your spouse if you stayed away from porn specially for her?

•        How would you feel if you didn’t feel the need to lie or to cover up your actions?

•        If you’re a Christian, how do you feel about presenting yourself to your church as a devout, God-fearing person while secretly filling your mind with filth? Your fellow church members don’t know you do it, but you do? How does that make you feel? How would you like to be free of that feeling?

•        How do you feel about bringing immorality into your church? 

•        How would it feel to actually be the person your fellow church members think you are?

•        How would you feel if you lost your job due to your porn viewing and were in the awkward position of having to explain what happened to a potential new employer?

•        How would it feel to know that the truth was good enough – you don’t have to hide it?

•        How would you enjoy living in a way that you truly believe you are a good person?

•        What would it be like to feel you’re living up to your own potential?

•        What would it feel like to be a man of integrity?

•        What would it be like to know that your actions are congruent with your beliefs and the image of yourself you project to other people?

•        How will you be set free by recognizing the untold harm porn viewing is doing to your self-esteem and the massive boost in self-esteem you’ll get from leaving it behind?

•        Have you noticed how embarrassed you felt about what you are doing?

•        Now that you’ve looked at this process closely, is it rational to continue doing it?

•        Have you mentally rehearsed what you’ll say if your spouse, your employer or your friends discovery your porn viewing? Have you got some ready-made lies to tell them? How do you feel about planning to lie to people who trust you? Would you feel better about yourself if you didn’t need to?

•        Has the time come to put an end to the systematic ritual humiliation you’ve been subjecting yourself to for years, perhaps decades?

•        Would the skill of delayed gratification you learn in the process of abandoning your porn activities have positive uses in other areas of your life? How would that affect your self-esteem?

 

 

YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!

You don't have to be hooked on porn! Millions of people live happily without porn. You can be one of them.

Get the follow-up book 

 

 

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In it, you'll learn more than a dozen techniques that can help you get free from your porn compulsion. You will see:

• Why  shame  and  guilt  don't work as motivators and what you can do about it.
• What personality traits can help you overcome your porn dependence.
• Why positive thinking can be  lethal  to your escape from porn.
• How to develop an escape plan to deal with triggers.
• How to execute your escape plan with the confidence and skill of a pro.
• The right and wrong way to promote success through visualization.
• The winning formula for changing your actions.
• Why you should  never  count days of abstinence.

WHAT IS YOUR PORN ADDICTION COSTING YOU?

• Money?
• Time?
• Relationships?
• Opportunities to develop skills?
• Peace of mind?
• Clean conscience?