War on Porn - Extract 4

 This is the fourth part of my book War on Porn! Prepare Your Mind for Battle , which can be downloaded free . You can read Part 1 here .

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MUST DO IT

If you put a stone on the ground, it will stay there until some outside force acts upon it to move it. It could be a human or an animal moving it. It could be a force of nature such as wind or heavy rain. It could be an earthquake. One thing is certain: it’s not going to move itself. It doesn’t matter whether a year, five years, or ten thousand years pass. That stone is not moving unless some outside force or agency acts on it. No amount of wishing, no amount of thought will make it move.

Your porn habit is the same. Face the fact: It’s not going away by itself. If you want it to go away, you must do something about it. You have to take the initiative, carry out the necessary steps to make it happen. If you don’t do it, no one will. No one is coming to help. Even God only helps those who help themselves. So, think:

·        Whose responsibility is it to make your porn problem go away?

·        How clear is it to you that this problem won’t go away by itself?

·        This idea that you can just sit back, hope for the best, and everything will work out alright – is it rational or wildly irrational?

·        Are you being realistic about this point, or are you in denial, refusing to face reality?

·        In general, do you get better results when you deny and avoid reality, or when you recognize and work with it?

·        Are denying reality and burying your head in the sand the actions of a responsible adult, or of a child? How well are you handling this admittedly strenuous situation?

·        How well do you understand that if you don’t do something, you’ll still be a porn victim in ten years’ time?

·        Have you grasped that unless declare war on porn and fight passionately, you will eventually go to your grave addicted to porn?

·        How will you be set free when you realize that “if it is to be, it is up to me”?

·        Why should God help you if you’re not helping yourself?

·        What if the only one who can save you from porn is you?

·        There’s no free lunch in life. What price are you willing to pay to be free of porn? What are you willing to sacrifice?

·        You’re already sacrificing a lot to keep viewing porn; what are you willing to sacrifice to get out of it?

·        Are you ready to join the millions of people who are leading happy, fulfilled lives without porn? Do you want to be one of them?

IS PORN AS ENJOYABLE AS YOU THINK IT IS?

Think back to the last time you viewed porn? Did you enjoy it? You might think you did. Clearly there was the physical pleasure of the orgasm, if you managed one, but what about the process?

Porn is not recreation. You could watch TV or a film, play a sport, listen to some music. That’s recreation. Afterwards you feel refreshed. You don’t feel refreshed after viewing porn, do you? Actually, viewing porn sucks. Porn is your enemy and you have to destroy it from your life. Think:

·        Was the experience frustrating? Did you manage to find the images you want?

·        Did you tell yourself that you’ll stop in a few minutes’ time, only to disregard that decision?

·        Did you find yourself looking at the same images or videos you looked at the previous time? If so, were you somewhat disappointed that they didn’t give you the same rush you got from them the first time?

·        Was there an uneasy feeling in the back of your mind that you shouldn’t be doing this?

·        Were you on edge in case anyone happened to come in and discover you?

·        Did you experience frustration because of not finding the exact image or film that would do it for you?

·        Looking back, was the experience satisfying, fulfilling, rewarding? Or exhausting, frustrating, disappointing?

·        Did porn relax you, or did it tense you up?

·        If you felt relief due to sexual climax, why did you need relief to start with? Was it simply relief from the stress you was feeling due to viewing porn in the first place?

·        When remembering the ‘pleasure’ you may have experienced, was it really pleasure, or was it the frustrating and nervous anticipation of pleasure that never actually materialized?

·        Were you pining for an illusion, an ideal that exists only in your imagination? Is there anything there for you at all, or is the whole thing little more than a mirage?

·        Is viewing porn like recreation, or is it more like hard work?

·        At the end, were you proud of what you had done, or did you think: ‘Oh no, I did it again!’?

·        Did it leave you feeling great, or like a victim? Did it leave you feeling as if you’d been raped?

·        Is it rational to keep this “unpaid part-time job” or should you ditch it?

WILL ESCAPING FROM PORN BE AS PAINFUL AS YOU EXPECT?

When you adjust to your new porn-free life, there will be some discomfort. As I explain in Porn Escape, you need to guard against being overly positive and optimistic; you have to prepare yourself for obstacles. One of these will be that your mind and your body will crave porn for a period of time. This will involve some discomfort but it won’t involve physical pain.

·        Have you considered that you will face some discomfort as you stop being a porn victim?

·        Why is it necessary for you to be prepared for this possibility?

·        Am you willing to face a bit of discomfort?

·        Are you prepared for the discomfort? What are you going to do when it starts? How will you stop yourself from returning to your old ways?

·        What would you do if you relapsed? Would you get straight back up or would you wallow in your misery for a few months before you get back on track?

·        Can you distinguish between mild discomfort and physical pain, and recognize that you are not in any pain?

·        How will you benefit by recognizing that the discomfort will gradually fade?

·        How open are you to the idea that most of the discomfort is actually due to indecision, wavering and vacillation, and that the more resolute you are, the less difficulty you will face? 

YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!

You don't have to be hooked on porn! Millions of people live happily without porn. You can be one of them.

Get the follow-up book 

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In it, you'll learn more than a dozen techniques that can help you get free from your porn compulsion. You will see:

• Why  shame  and  guilt  don't work as motivators and what you can do about it.
• What personality traits can help you overcome your porn dependence.
• Why positive thinking can be  lethal  to your escape from porn.
• How to develop an escape plan to deal with triggers.
• How to execute your escape plan with the confidence and skill of a pro.
• The right and wrong way to promote success through visualization.
• The winning formula for changing your actions.
• Why you should  never  count days of abstinence.

WHAT IS YOUR PORN ADDICTION COSTING YOU?

• Money?
• Time?
• Relationships?
• Opportunities to develop skills?
• Peace of mind?
• Clean conscience?