So, the worst has happened. Despite all your best efforts, you've binged on porn. And then you binge again the same day. Then the next day. And the day after that. You're stuck in a hole. How can you get out of it? Here are four steps to help you. If possible, do these things with the help of a supportive friend.
1) Get sleep. Loads of it.
Studies have shown that self-control and willpower are much harder if you're sleep deprived. Do whatever you can to get rid of your sleep debt. For at least two weeks, go to bed really early. If you normally to bed at 11 pm, go at 8 pm instead. This will have two effects: Firstly, you'll gradually restore your lost sleep. Secondly, while you're sleeping, you're not watching porn. For advice on how to catch up on sleep, see here.
2) For a while, separate yourself from your electronic devices.
Sooner or later you're going to have to learn to resist temptation. But not now. For the time being, you need to put temptation out of the way. Until you're rested, could you manage without electronic devices, even for part of the day? For instance, could you leave your laptop and tablet at work? Or could you leave your wifi router (or just an essential cable) at work for a week or two? If others are using the wifi, another option might be to take the password off your computers for a while. Or install software that blocks porn sites. Of course, you can probably find ways round these obstacles if you try hard enough. But the principle of making it easier to do what is right than what is wrong can definitely work in your favor.
3) Forgive Yourself Completely
Remember you're not a bad person. You just have some bad habits. Show yourself compassion. Think what you'd say to a close friend who was facing this issue. Would you berate him, telling him just how useless and pathetic he is? Or would yoube understanding, kind, compassionate, supportive? Give yourself the same degree of understanding you'd give to anyone else.
4) Start Planning for Future Temptations
The key here is to make implementation intentions. This means to keep telling yourself what you are going to do the next time you're faced with the temptation to view porn. Read more about that here.
To supercharge your implementation intentions, use visualization. Spend a few minutes imagining that you have an opportunity to view porn. Visualize yourself getting up from the computer and doing something else instead.
